Witnessing history, but not sure how

I left off in my last post getting ready to leave with Vicki for this conference thingy. I really didn't know much about it, other than Vicki had been invited as a panel member, and the subject was on Wolof history (of which she is an expert). I also knew that the professor leading the panel, Mbaye Thiam, is someone that Vicki thought I should talk to regarding my project on peacemaking. It's very interesting how she put this together- I'll go into it in a bit.

When we showed up we were greeted by a very handsome, meticulously dressed, 20-something year old student who then ushered us to Prof. Thiam. Vicki made introductions in French, then he said a few things in French (which I didn't understand because he spoke too fast), and I said, "Enchanter" (on-shawn-tay; means = enchanted, or delightful, to meet you) and smiled. Good enough for the moment. Then we scheduled a time to meet on Tuesday so we could talk more about ideas. Vicki and I sat down, he left so he could prepare for the panel, and we talked while we people-watched. There were several (probably 200+) students who came to this event. All of them were members of a student organization at the University that is concerned about maintaining the cultural heritage of the Wolof. All of the students, of course, have Wolof ancestry, but not all are of the same ethnic heritage- so it's like a broad, unifying umbrella. I don't mean to suggest ethnic conflict, because there isn't. But, there are distinctions, and sometimes it comes into politics. Therefore, any kind of unification is a good thing. And, by coming together, the students get to learn more about their family ancestries and how they are connected into each other's social networks. Networking, but so much more than that; it's also about getting in touch with their roots, which Vicki says is important because they are losing this, and fast.

Colonization is partly, if not largely, to blame for the quickly fading history and knowledge of Wolof traditions. Prior to European invasion (and later settled by the French), West Africans had several thriving democracies. These institutions can be traced back to at least the 13th century, when the first Wolof leader (and his family) came into power. Leaders were elected to power, and citizens paid tribute to them (through goods, services, taxes, etc), so long as the elected officials were able to provide protection and security. If leaders did not fulfill this obligation, or if they did it poorly, people could pack their things and move to the next territory and pay tribute to another leader (one who COULD provide protection and security). If people left, then the leader would have no power. And, this happened; this was how West Africans provided checks and balances to their leaders' power, and to their use of that power. In my mind, "If you fuck up, I'll take my shit and leave and you'll be nothing- how do you like them apples, beyotch?!" People could move so easily like this because land was an abundance and therefore not a resource per se. People, not land, were the resources. Thus, this system provided for a strong democracy in the sense that there were several checks and balances to the leader's power, and to their use of power.

When the French came, everything changed. I can't go into all that here, but I will definitely return to it at some point. In any case, knowing this history is important, not just for young Africans, but also for the world. What I witnessed today, then, were the efforts of Professor Thiam to give this back to those students. He didn't have this when he was their age- he had to learn it on his own. He had to learn about the traditions of the Wolof in libraries and archives, but he is giving them the gift of going onwards with their education with this knowledge in tote. It will be the bridge that links them back to their families so that they don't have to cut ties with that heritage. It was a momentous occasion, as Vicki said. And I wouldn't have known this if she hadn't have told me, for which I'm incredibly grateful. I witnessed something beautiful, and I didn't even know it. Oh, but did I mention how difficult this experience was for me? It was. I could understand very little of what the panel members said, and I felt extremely uncomfortable being there. The whole time I felt like people were wondering, "Who is this kid, and what is he here for?" And, I'm sure they were wondering something like this. It's ok, but it did make me uncomfortable thinking about it. I felt very much out of my element- and I started to think to myself how difficult this kind of work is (i.e., this kind of "on the ground" cross-cultural work) for this very reason. And, at first I couldn't see myself enduring this kind of discomfort on a regular basis, but my conversation with Vicki later helped me to understand that yes, it was hard, and yes, it is hard, but that's how it is, and it does get better.

So, I promised I would say something more about Professor Thiam and how I might be able to learn from him. I'm getting tired now, so this may be brief, and I may miss several important points, so if I do, please ask for clarification (this is always true- I hope you know this- you do now). Part of Thiam's efforts to reclaim Wolof heritage is to further explore and document ancient Wolof proverbs. If I were working alone, I wouldn't have the insight to consult him, but I've realized from my discussions with Vicki that those proverbs might be the perfect place to start learning about Wolof traditions of peacemaking. In other words, and I know this for a fact, themes of peacemaking are present in the oral traditions of Wolof people. I know this because I have already read about the oral traditions of the first Wolof King, in which it is commonly told that he was a peacemaker wherever he went. Why is this important? Because it says something about what the Senegalese value today- maintaining peace. I think knowing the content and history of proverbs can do the same thing- they can show how and why Senegalese maintain peace.

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I just had a really awesome conversation with Vicki just now. I asked her, "Why Africa? How did you get into this?" And her answer was everything I needed to hear tonight. That's all I want to say about that for now. Suffice it to say that it produced an emotional experience that helped me get a little bit closer to my own truth. And, it lead me to write this:

Wow, what a day. This is it. I am living it. I'm having the feeling of being connected to my "child-self." I don't know what that is, or if there's a better term to describe it, but it's a starting point at least. I know that what I just felt was reminiscent of how I felt as a 9 year old- just being totally present and doing whatever it was I enjoyed doing, having no worries or fears about the future, feeling no pressure to do this or do that, and just.. I don't know, being? Why did I have to come to Africa for that? Or, what am I supposed to learn here? What am I supposed to do with this? I don't know, yet. But, this feeling I have right now is something I haven't felt since childhood, and I know this because it wasn't familiar at first; I had to listen, and it had to come. I didn't realize I had been without it, because I didn't know it was at one time. WOW! Seriously, I am almost weirded out. This reminds me of a book I read about this guy having a conversation with God (in fact, that was the title!)-- there's a part in the book in which he asks God, "God, if you really have ALL power, why do you allow bad things to happen?" The million dollar question, right? The question we all have at one or more points in our lives. And God's answer was very logical, in my opinion, that all things are relative, and that you need to have the opposite of something to be able to experience it. I'm not doing this passage justice, AT ALL, but, I like how it works with my feeling tonight because it describes it well- I didn't know what I had experienced in childhood as a child, because I knew nothing else. And, even later, when that sense of being present slipped away, I hadn't realized it had slipped away. But just now, it's like I had a flashback of how that once felt, and now I know. That is really f'ing cool if you ask me! Really, really, cool. I didn't know it was possible.